Selected Neologisms: April-June 1994

Another source of bad press was necrotising fasciitis, the 'flesh-eating' bacterial infection that has struck seven people in the county

Among Brazil's poor, there are three sexes: Men, women and travestis - biological males who have changed themselves by art and science into something very close to females

The dehesas of Spain (montados in Portugal) are huge areas of scattered evergreen cork oak and holm-oak trees growing over flowery grassland

Perhaps the most remarkable aspect of oulipian writing is how unusually enjoyable it can be.

Now results from the first scientifically controlled trial of stenting versus conventional angioplasty have confirmed that a stent halves the chances of an artery becoming quickly reblocked

The ownership in the property remained in the pawnor subject only to the 'special interest' to which the pawnee was entitled for the purpose of protecting and realising his security.

The homoeopathic rationale for iscador is based on the fact that mistletoe like cancer, is a parasite, and that one can cancel the other out

Unitary councils themselves would have to band together in 'joint boards' to run the strategic services. Also, as any new unitaries would be far bigger than the existing districts, there would be a profusion of what would virtually be new area committees or councils.

the worst thing is verbal abuse to officials, especially linespeople. Umpires can take care of themselves. They've got the power. And now linespeople have, but quite a few are fairly reticent, and they just take all this abuse.

the Cheltenham Gloucester and National & Provincial N&P said the Halifax's move could lead to other lenders examining the discounts and cash-backs they offered their customers

ANOTHER topsy-turvy session shares swung from despair to exhilaration as the stock market clung grimly to New York's coat- tails Casinoesque' and a 'nightmare' were how dealers described the volatile conditions

the class-clash comedy, The Riff Raff Element, in which the Tundishes down-at-heel southern aristocrats, are compelled to live cheek-by-jowl with the vulgar Belchers from Salford

The Reed Elsevier board wanted the group to be run collegiately by an executive committee

Communicopia. It's intended to describe any company with multi-media pretensions, companies at the cutting edge of convergence between television, telephony and computers.

In the past alcoholics have been given coprine, a toxic agent present in the common ink-cap mushroom (Coprinus atramentarius).

Baykonyr and Leninsk will continue under Russian jurisdiction and the military will remain in control of the cosmodrome. A further payment to help with cleaning up the toxic chemicals left by discarded rocket stages may be negotiated at a later date. During the prolonged negotiations over the cosmodrome's future, loud voices particularly among the Russian military, were heard in favour of an expansion of the other main launch centre at Plesetsk near Archangel.

if you do ask to try something on, explain that you're a crossdresser, not a TV. A TV is assumed by many to be a sex pervert. Crossdressers are seen as more mature

The fact is that Muslim leaders in Bosnia have also pursued a policy of culturecide.

delayering, delevelling, downsizing and flattening - are euphemisms for three of the most important words of all: 'You are fired'.

A pioneering deal between an orchestra and cable television is likely to bring in the age of 'dial-a-concert' when the Royal Philharmonic starts a residency in Nottingham this autumn. The orchestra has signed an agreement with Diamond Cable TV.

This debate over how much dryland crop failures and shortages are due to natural drought and how much to man-made degradation is a sterile one.

THEY rolled around the stage like demonic sex dolls, dressed in their glam-trash S & M outfits designed to thrill

Don't blame me, blame the remuneration committee, is the standard defence of a chief executive when asked to justify his mega-salary or vastly inflated pay rise

And yet these are social engineering measures designed to limit freedom and adjust behaviour for the better - in short nannyisms.

`Flaming' is netspeak for crazy rows which blaze out of control for months. Romantic passion can flare up in a similar untempered way. If you stay behind the screen. you can always Perot (to Perot: netspeak for `to unexpectedly quit').

If this happens, the whole opencasted area will be returned to green fields and woodland.

The south-east seems unable to rise much above pub-grub, kebabs and tandooris.

A petite, bird-like beauty with a Lollobrigida-esque penchant for heavy eyeliner, Mrs Heard de Osborne was a shop-a-holic. Not just any old shop-a-holic. Mrs Heard de Osborne had a serious thing about clothes.

He has terrific range of movement and springability

benefit payments ... which account for one-third of post office counter transactions, could eventually be paid through 'swipeable' cards rather than benefit books

it aims to move luggage - including golf bags and skis - between the main terminal and the 80 different gates in a fast-moving fleet of telecars' - plastic bins that will travel at up to 19 mph on 20 miles of metal track.

The increase in home working and the possibilities of the telecroft, wired to the world through modem and telephone, have begun to change the age-old dependency on sheep and fish.

The world of computer totware, apparently, moves too fast for adults to keep up. Computers designed for three-year-olds, but actually usable by bright two-year-olds, will be on sale in the UK next summer

Joseph Gallivan braves the ecru knitwear and skinny ribs of two thousand twentynothings for the Brand New Heavies.

The music press has developed a distinct way of talking about music - one based largely on adjective-mongering and over-indulged metaphors, but also characterised by irony and humour.

The awful feeling, when telling someone a tale, that you have told them it before: anecdoubt (Mollie Caird)

He becomes an actor, then a star; marriage to Maya follows, and dalliance with the ankle-braceleted Muslim beauty Mehnaz.

'Look at that chest! It's Friday and he's back: Agassi, the hairy anti-bore.

Only once, in January, was the anti-naff rule suspended. That was for the Good Riddance Diana Eighties Ball, to mark the Princess of Wales's retirement from public life.

Sammy said. High-speed aquabatics are the norm, the police and the smugglers dodging each other at 60 mph in heavy seas.

You end up feeling that 40 years of institutionalisation would be too good a fate for Williams's attention-hoggingly bashful doctor

And is it better to listen to a badly abridged and poorly read audiobook, even if that book is a classic, than to see a brilliant piece of populist cinema?

The really striking thing about Pol Pot's Cambodia - unlike the current ethnic/tribal conflict between the Tutsi and Hutu in Rwanda - was that it was an 'auto-genocide': namely, ethnic Khmer murdering fellow ethnic Khmer.

In faithfulness to my three-year-old's question, I would like him to grow into some of the following awarenesses, even if I couldn't put them into easy words in the Bologna Art Gallery: suffering is not to be celebrated; it does not redeem; it is not any kind of punishment from God, whether direct or vicarious.

Reinhart patriotically preferred another strand of Swiss Romanticism: the alpine view, whose practitioners, aiming to awestrike with their cloud-capped visions of mountain scenery, saw in Switzerland a pure and primitive place

It emerged last week that Tony and his delightful wife Cherie, who is a Roman Catholic, have visited the London Oratory School, a posh Catholic opt-out in Fulham, with a view to sending one of their children there. There was much predictable Tory backbenchery over this

With 17 per cent of readers believing in fairies, it's easy to envisage a flock of be-anoraked touch-me-nots wielding binoculars in Shropshire tree-houses.

You can imagine how the Davids Lynch and Byrne would have beanfeasted on these ingredients - the physical and mental 'freaks', the colourful small-town fruitcakes - but Hallstrom doesn't patronise his characters

Employers need to think about providing storage space for cyclists, and public tranport should become more bike-friendly.

While Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells or Winchester and Eurosceptics generally may fume in the traffic jams on either side of the route, there is no reason to doubt that thousands of bikies on the crests of the hills will see an authentic slice of Tour de France action.

While the biological control literature cites some spectacular success stories, it is also littered with cases of failure and surprising events such as biocontrol organisms not doing what they were supposed to do despite all the evidence to the contrary

Even the physical/digital containers to which we've become accustomed - floppy disks, CD-roms and other discrete shrink-wrappable bit-packages - will disappear as all computers jack-in to the global Net.

In contrast to the genteel blazerati of previous years, Norman moved into the marketplace indeed it could be said that he helped create a new market

She's assured in her style, graceful under pressure and astonishingly bleep-free for a football manager.

His appearance at Wembley Arena was all about this strange contrast between phenomenal record sales and self-effacing blokedom.

it's only in the last of the three roles that she scores a direct hit, her eye-patched Bawd like some venereally decrepit version of Barbara Windsor, the bottle-blondness pitted with disgusting sores.

Alas, for every family picnicking amid the buttercups at Goodwood there would be at least 10 waiting for the breadwinner - or in most cases the breadloser - to come home from the betting shop.

ALBUMS: A philosopher's life is not worth living By ANDY GILL CRASH TEST DUMMIES God Shuffled His Feet (RCA 74321 20152 2) A SMARTASS start - a scratchy stuck-needle sound - leads into a sampled breakbeat loop, and eventually into the title-track.

Backstage, Thomas Arne's music flooded the auditorium for the very last time and the company manager, Kevin Grant, stood by in the wings ready to snip the wired artefacts (pheasants, antlers, hunting horns) from the set. Souvenir hunting was not encouraged. Instead, everything was bubble-wrapped and transferred to two of Paul Matthew's 40ft lorries

A tiny plastic screen that sticks to the rear window and periscopes a bumper-eye view of just how close you are to the car behind when parking.

While it is customary for members of the alternative society to invite you round to see their camcordered record of the fat legs, latrine mudslides and coma cases that make up the summer's best outdoor do, there hasn't been a Woodstock-style feature film of the event until now.

Hemp is useful in making ropes. As it happens, I am familiar with the economics of cannibiculture in Ireland, having once found a monograph of that title in the British Library.

What you get with all these beers is a bit more tartness and fruitiness, because of the secondary fermentation in the bottle - a bit more champagney-ness, if you like.

Childress has a wonderful ear for the callow wit of student conversation, its short attention-span as it channel-surfs between subjects, its cautious fencing at emotions.

Claire J Paul sees her middle initial 'uniting the female and male sides of my name. I feel it also unites the female and male aspects of my personality into a perfectly formed whole.' Her J stands for Jaime, which we thought was a Spanish chap, but she says is a French chappess.

Mr Hosokawa has been gambolling like a schoolboy at the beginning of his summer holidays, merrily attending dinner parties and cherry-blossom-viewing ceremonies as if nothing had happened.

Having to lead from the front to show his commitment to the cause, he joined the company's Overweight Club. This, he says, is not a kind of AA meeting for chubbies We just competed to slim down,' he says.

The best kind of second-hand bookseller doesn't even look up. He avoids your eye, like a priest in some foreign Catholic church when you, the happy sightseer, wander in to look round and he conveys the impression that a) he would rather you were not there b) you will probably churchlift something.

The men in suits are responsible for the conspicuousness of the camouflaged. Stuart Cockerill however, maintains that London is packed with combat-jacketed figures so effectively camouflaged as to be invisible.

'It's not a political decision. It's about conservation'. Norman Hindle (Con) is fuming, accusing the council of 'conservation-itis'.

this new breed of media intruder is more insidious than anything we have seen so far from Murdoch For the couch-based sports fan, the implications are wildly varied. There will be a diet heavy with junk

Companies that take credit control seriously often tend to use it at an earlier stage in the selling process. They credit-vet potential customers before attempting to sell to them, rather than after ordering.

The gays succeeded where the yuppies failed not just because of their famed pink pound' but because of their 'cruisiness', their desire to see and be seen, to gaze out on the world and its attractions (and sometimes get their hands on them

And the forthcoming cycle messenger world champion-ships will feature a funeral cycle-past in honour of two-wheeled fatalities.

The photograph of David Bower, who plays the deaf brother, was taken under different lighting conditions from everybody else's, and stuck out too much when they put it in the collage. The marketing men then got worried that just to leave Bower out would be 'deafist'. So they chopped poor Tom (James Fleet) off too.

Though she never quite fitted this company, she contributed a touch of chic, dancing Venus in Planetomania (with music by Norman de Muth), Maria in a ballet of Twelfth Night (with music by Grieg), both ballets choreographed by Inglesby and glamorously decored by Doris Zinkeizen.

The United States and Russia made a similar deal in January and American missiles were also 'detargeted' on Monday.

Alan was explaining to his client that he had managed to negotiate a five-figure fee with one of our leading dimensionally-challenged newspapers for an exclusive photograph of Jimmy with spade doing said community service.

These are the sort of people who think that Lavazza is an item on Eurotrash. Somewhere between fast, ethnic and a few stragglers from dinkiedom, there's a happy medium struggling to get out. A few good places do exist, and they are packed every night.

after only a short history, well over 10 million people can read and write Esperanto to some extent, one shouldn't consign this growing language to any dinosaurean swamp yet.

The Devonshire, recently acclaimed as 'Britain's most dog-friendly pub', accepted the trophy, a bottle of Walter Hicks 125 Navy Rum.

Despite this, copying persists. The future seems to offer two options; the use of 'dongles' plugged into our PCs to permit each bit of software to run (quite entertaining when you've got five or six to fit in) or the monthly subscription system you describe.

Hal Hartley's Amateur - a droll, surreal underworld 'dramedy' starring Isabelle Huppert as an ex-nun turned pornographic novelist.

I also want them to enjoy the privilege of growing up in a truly diverse, multi-ethnic, multi-cultural society But, despite the endless snub-nosed, dungaree'd sweeties who today beam out from the advertising hoardings, life in the capital is not tailored to accommodate real live kids.

As a student he displayed mind-boggling skills as a score reader, transmuted into ear-boggling charisma as a conductor.

By 1989 we were outselling our nearest rivals (Buxton and Highland Spring by three to one,' she says. A case, you could say, of eauverhyped eauverpriced and eauverhere. Can she bring fresh fizz to old waters (Hannibal was drinking 'Perrier' water - unbottled and unlabelled at the time - when he passed through Vergeze on his ill-fated march on Rome.

Euro-consciousness is high among those under 30 and has a definite cut-off age. Older people are more interested in domestic issues.

My clients like to look unique. I suppose they'll pay around 1,200 pounds for a silk cocktail dress, 2,000 pounds for an ordinary suit and around 2,500 pounds for something evening-y. They wouldn't buy anything off-the-peg.

Modern Motoring (BBC2), which has just completed the fifth and final leg of its hugely diverting journey. The series motored off over the horizon with a look at the familymobile.

for the past few weeks I've had the mother of all sore throats. Not that that's particularly surprising - all my friends have got sore throats, too. But trust me, theirs aren't nearly as bad as mine. Mine is really serious. Mine is necrotising fasciitis. Inside, I just know my flesh is liquifying. I can feel it bubbling away fasciitisly.

'Fashion is a business cyclical, hysterical and insecure'. What raises The Designer Scam above the run of fashiony books is its lack of laziness. Although it is repetitive and sometimes sloppy, repeating anecdotes and recycling stuff known to every rubbish-retaining magazine reader

Some will fax a list of entries to you and larger auction groups like ADT and CMA, offer fax-back numbers.

Some time in the next five to 10 years, the tail will wag the dog and the print newspaper will just advertise the electronic product However, not many people think that the print newspaper, with its familiarity, foldability, low price, portability and quick-to-read design will disappear overnight. '

As well as Anna Sui's Seventies football-strip-inspired clothes in satin and stripes, there are fellow New Yorker Laura Whitcomb's sporty stripes for Label, shown on the catwalk for this summer.

The electric toothbrush offered no clinical advantage over its manual counterpart, properly used (the latter only appeared in its modern plastic-handled, nylon-bristled form in 1940 - made by Addis under the brand-name Wisdom). Possibly its new-toy appeal encouraged gizmophiles and recalcitrant children to attend to a tedious daily chore.

At the height of the fad, even Marks & Spencer were turning out a line of grunge-wear and people who had never heard of the Sub Pop label could still talk about grunge.

PETER THOMPSON runs courses at the Garden School, Craven Arms, Shropshire He thinks there are two kinds of gardener: androcentrics judge their gardens by signs that they are in control, gynocentrics respond intuitively to their gardens and welcome surprises.

On the odd occasion that a head or governing body tries to improve any of this, there are usually outcries of whingeing, puritanical self-denial - a form of hair-shirtism that helps no one.

The downside of that is a return to the petty irritations of student communal living, getting hate-ons over people who disappear to the loo when it's time to wash up, use all the hot water before daylight, and leave socks in the inglenook.

But that's still Barry in there, almost tangibly polo-necked and Cuban-heeled. The man is not just naff, he is actually hip-resistant. All efforts at up-grading are in vain, defeated by the very Barryness of Barry.

And nothing better illustrated Sackville-West's hoity-toitiness, he argues, than her famous garden at Sissinghurst, which excluded 'bedint' (bourgeois) suburban flowers. Rhododendrons, for example were out because they resembled 'fat stockbrokers

Accommodation was not difficult to find. There were three 'hotels' in the village, ranging from basic to hygienically-challenged. My girlfriend and I opted for the Hotel Solartex, where the bed- linen looked as though the previous occupants had wiped their boots clean on it.

TIME for your weekly meander down the byways which lead off the information superhighway, or infobahn, as I'm told we must now call it.

But is there any deep point to jubilee-itis? In June 1994, are we making too much fuss about D-Day?

Some supporters argue that Mrs Beckett is reflecting true party policy rather than the watered-down, modernised version. But most accept that this was an attempt to define different, 'lefter-than-thou' territory to Mr Blair and Mr Prescott while sticking within policy. As one friend put it: 'We did talk about differentiation from Blair - but then it just happened.'

Kathleen Turner is unstoppably larger than life. But in these politically correct, liposucked days that's a perilous claim on screen glory. For size is sometimes nothing but too much flesh.

Potent and tenacious as this myth may be, however, it requires a certain tentativeness in discussion, partly because it is one of the stock properties of luvvyspeak at its worst; partly because most sensible actors are understandably fed up with the ignorant prejudice that they are a bunch of neurotics, hysterics and flakes; and partly because, like so many other bits of cant or near-cant, it was blasted more than 200 years ago by Samuel Johnson

So what better way is there for canned draught Guinness to illustrate its smoothness, its up-marketness, its made-it-ness, than to contrast itself with the horrors of Seventies lifestyle?

at the end of his life Doisneau became a media figure in his own right - not least because he was an entertaining and amusing speaker, a character who was eminently mediatisable. His personal qualities, of warmth complicity, humour, made him known via television and radio to a wider non-photographic public.

The second disc is better, as the band stretch out and the songs move through various stages and slip into other songs, with Van quoting lines snagged in his memory from favourite R & B songs and effectively medleyfying virtually the entire course of R & B history. The truly impressive thing, however, is not the compendiousness, but the way they're blended so seamlessly into a harmonious whole.

Paris has resisted the universal pressures that have afflicted all those ancient cities which swelled to megapolitan size in the 19th century. London, Rome, Milan, Vienna, Brussels, Boston, Philadelphia and New York have all suffered as much as Paris

The dog quickly morphs into a humanoid with anarchic tendencies.

the disparate talents of the Auteurs, St Etienne, Pulp and Suede were half- heartedly lumped together under a 'neo-glam' banner which they all despised.

It is perfect City-clerk to middle-management Edwardian, with its great room of heavy, high-backed decorative chairs, nicotined plaster ceiling and dark wood panelling, with the big picture at one end of the king uncovering four-and-twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.

It began in the late Sixties, when the American defence department decided it wasn't smart to have its computer hub centred in one nukeable spot.

What better advocates could there be for the case that there's nothing queer about Quorn. Quorn might be perceived - to use the marketing-speak - as just a bit valetudinarian and nut-cutlet-ish, a bit lacking in life's oomph-factors.

Liberal Democrat officials were fuming, claiming yesterday to have been inundated by calls from optically-challenged voters who had put their crosses by the Literal Democrat's name by mistake.

Considerable amounts of property were discovered at various houses Among the items found were silverware, including snuff-boxes and candelabra jewellery, clocks and lacquered papier-macheware. But police said it was too early to say whether the items came from the six premises that were burgled.

Next door nestles a far more promising looking restaurant, relatively speaking, but it was not one for us. No. The Bosquet is unutterably pass-byable, so watch out. You'll be passing by a little jewel.

Early male phone-phobics, however, included Joseph Conrad, who insisted friends communicate by telegram or letter. Franz Kafka found phone conversations 'impossible to understand'.

He chose great models - Celine and Genet - and always said he was not a pornographer but a 'pornocrat'. Despite being considered a marginal freak, Calaferte went on writing.

what is out has an uncanny knack of becoming what is in. Post-grungers and ambient soul searchers are getting restless. They are starting to appreciate old-fashioned musical qualities like disco and pure pop

As to Britain's place in the world, we cling to bargain-basement great powerdom while refusing to embrace our geopolitical resting place in Europe.

A practisaholic in the Gooch mould, Cronje, with his elegant aggression, has emerged as South Africa's most dependable batsman of the new era.

He glanced around the restaurant. 'This is a nice place,' he said, 'very razzmatazzy; but in my view the really serious Salon Women go to Harry's Bar. They like sitting next to captains of industry.'

Equally Sun Treader blasts away like the best of those rockesque Yankees heard in a chamber concert as part of the same season

Still waters run deeper: The Perrier predicament: salewise it has lost its fizz; designwise it has slightly lost its bottle.

SOUTH Africa has produced some doughty seventysomethings - none more so than Nelson Mandela and Helen Suzman

Playtex, which makes Superlook Secrets, reacted indignantly when I suggested that stuffing your stomach into a girdle might be a retrograde step. 'It's not a pantie girdle,' she said; 'It's shapewear. It's pretty. It's the perfect alternative to holding your breath. And it has a secret panel, so you won't know you're wearing it, and nor will anyone else.'

Had all that spin-doctoring on behalf of the modernisers gone so unnoticed by Mrs Bottomley?

Till now there has been a tacit agreement that rival sudsers are spread out through the week, allowing the viewers to get their fix while other more demanding forms flourish alongside.

This time, so the techno-freaks will tell you, the information superhighway has really arrived on the doorstep, delivering phone and TV services, not to mention tele-shopping, tele-commuting tele-learning, tele-dating, tele-everything.

Variations on a confetti theme occurred in several suggestions. Brian French proposes a use as 'unconfetti for divorce parties',

My grilled chicken breast came with a black bean salsa; those whose experience of black beans stop with their presence in Chinese takeaway dishes should be advised that, in their unglutamated form, they're from the boring end of the pulse family

But wherever an exaggerated sense of upper-crustery may lead, it means never having to say you're sorry. All aristocrats, says Nancy Mitford in Noblesse Oblige, are 'impervious to a sense of shame. Shame is a bourgeois notion'

The publisher very cleverly and artistically tinted some of the pages the same colours as fruit stains. I begged them not to. I told them it was a wallyish thing to do.

ALLISON Pearson and other British television critics seem unfamiliar with a key term in the vocabulary of MTV/Channel 4's Beavis and Butt-Head. It's not 'woosie' but 'wussy', a combination of 'wimp' and 'pussy', which rhymes with the latter. The term is invariably used as a noun in variant forms, ie 'what a wuss'. It is mildly euphemistic,

elsewhere the talk is all of 'xeriscape'. Derived from the term 'xeric', which describes plants that grow in dry conditions, xeriscaping is a conservation-conscious form of gardening in which plants appropriate to the area are grown in near-natural conditions, thus saving water and maintaining the natural ecological balance.

lunching with Conservative students at the London School of Economics, he was pelted with eggs, flour and orange juice, on behalf, he was yellingly informed, of pensioners and the unemployed.

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