Selected Neologisms: July-September 1994

In a speech to the Voluntary Services Overseas, the Prime Minister praised their work and 'anti-yob culture' and said he wished Britain had more recognition for its overseas volunteers 'If you don't like our jewellery, fuck off'. It won an award, but roused the ire of anti-yob moralists.

The tag has nothing, he claims, to do with Tom Forcade's political faction of hippies, who called themselves the Zippies (Zeitgeist International Party) after breaking away from the Yippies Youth International Party) To Clark's fellow zippies - Zen Inspired Pronoia Professionals - this is known as the Parallel University'

a venue in which to discuss their aethestic reactions can sip coffee in front of computer screens at Scotland's first cyber-cafe

No, by a near-life experience I mean something transcendental, a moment when one feels that existence is not after all absurd My second near-life experience occurred on karaoke night at Scribes, when Frankie Fraser's lovely Marilyn sang 'Stand By Your Man'

But few Russians seem quite so disoriented by the change as its detektivshchiki They are used to describing Soviet reality. Now reality is much tougher

she said, 'You got a real voolly for those sandwiches.' 'Voolly', it turns out, is an Italian-American corruption of the verb volere - to desire.

New row over cash-for-questions: Labour claims some inquiry MPs 'not impartial'.

It sounds bizarre, but David Ashford's Microsonic spaceplane is a serious proposition.

members of 16 animal species that fed on fish from the lakes known to be contaminated with some of the oestrogen-like chemicals were failing to reach adulthood, or were sterile.

Americans, Canadians, Australians, Swiss) believe in 'one best way' - a set of rules that applies in any setting. Particularists (Koreans Chinese, Malaysians, at the other extreme) focus on the peculiar nature of a situation one should not take 'get to know you' chatter as merely small talk it is the main event to particularists

in Sarajevo SNIPER rifles were silent across Sarajevo yesterday, as an anti-sniping agreement came into force across the city.

TELEVISION / The Paul Whitehouse experience: He was the blond one with the big teeth who did a 'lodda work for cheriddy' - Smashie to Harry Enfield's Nicey.

And he regards the caring of the healthists as a hypocritical cover for crude authoritarianism As healthism is driven by power,' he writes, 'rather than by concern for the welfare of fellow men, Skrabanek's thesis is that the healthism of morbid dingbats like Kellogg lives on; there is a straight line of descent down to the prevailing medical ideology

there is surely some public responsibility to do more on the provocative front This is the typical healthist leap of logic which has transformed the practice of medicine. No longer is health a normal state of equilibrium and

Genuine kloofers wear sun-hats, swimming trunks and soggy shoes, and carry rucksacks and lilos Kloofing becomes compelling because it is so utterly simple. All it involves is finding the quickest way down a river valley.

The latest British buzz-phrase, which may surface in Mr Major's speech, is of a 'multi-core Europe This vision is dismissed by senior continental politicians as hankering after a return to the Europe of Metternich and Castlereagh, of shifting and unstable alliances between nation-states manoeuvring ceaselessly for advantage. You can no more have a multi-core European Union than you can have a multi-core apple, they will say.

Until 10 years ago, the offroad market was driven by people who needed four-wheel drive, such as farmers.

Pronoia', Clark informs the assembly, is the sneaking suspicion that others are conspiring behind your back to help you.

'Shraff is a corruption of 'shord' or 'sherd Brammer wrote A shraff tip or shord-ruck was the name given to the areas used for depositing the smashed or spoiled products of ovens and kilns.

in 90 degree heat and 75 per cent humidity. The solution, according to the magazines, is this season's floaty little vest-dress

I suffer from a condition probably called car-blindness: an inability to tell one car from another

thin-hammered steak served in a bowl with lots of wine and mustard-flavoured gravy, chips and sometimes a fried egg Lisbon's cervejarias are not as spectacular or as sophisticated as their Paris cousins

their answer is structured as four separate scenarios, the last and most optimistic of which - the Russian economic 'miracle', or chudo could, they suggest, be the one to bet on

This summer, a new look has evolved out of drag. It is being called demi-drag' and involves elements of both menswear and womenswear.

The vegetarian missionary is determined to preach the gospel of meatlessness

AN ELECTRONIC sniffer dog named Bloodhound could help police pick out a suspect by identifying the unique 'smellprint' of their body odour has promising potential as a forensic science aid for police, who might consider building up a smellprint database of known criminals.

he is the only man in London to use a new gimmick from California - the transcooter - to get around The transcooter, known as a Goped, has a 1.2 hp, 22.5 cc engine strapped over the back wheel.

Feeding encourages a super-abundance of birds, which can lead to unhealthful conditions for them.

we can still eat proper xingaraspia, the notable ham made from its flesh No doubt you will shortly be able to obtain xingaraspia in whatever stately food-dome you frequent, as long as you and they can pronounce it

'An absco, that means an absconder. She discharged herself from the Whittington Hospital.

there is much official and private corruption, and business, politics and organised crime often overlap. This cocktail has been called anarcho-capitalism there is much official and private corruption, and business, politics and organised crime often overlap. This cocktail has been called anarcho-capitalism

Attachment-disorder children appear to have no conscience, and they do not experience conflict as painful.

agencies believe that a woman in the Home Counties may be arranging babies-for-cash deals for desperate couples prepared to smuggle children out of Romania

The programme quoted figures for the first month of a benefit-capping scheme in New Jersey a newly introduced system of benefit-capping in New Jersey had halved the number of babies born to single mothers.

bouldering - literally rock climbing up boulders rather than a sheer cliff-face There is an artificial indoor bouldering wall in Mile End

that they taste the same in Peking as they do in London or New York, and so it was that Burgernomics was born McDonald's and the world of burgernomics

vice cards in telephone kiosks was growing Westminster council said: 'We have had reports of residents being threatened by the carders

'This section of the game is presented commercial-free by GMC Truck.' this portion of the game is brought to you commercial-free by Snickers

So no, I don't want the computer-equivalent of a Nissan Micra. I want the computer-equivalent of a Ferrari

communication between branches is prevented, in practice but not principle, by their 'decoherence

I very much hope that he be disastered and that the Russian electorate give him the boots, because this conversation revealed him to be anti-Semitic and dictatorial

THE Independent Television Commission's dismissal of Carlton's docu-glitz series (that's what they call them now) Hollywood Women is now legendary

The disadvantage of dwarfing rootstock is that the dwarfer it is, the fussier it is.

In particular, the trade unions pushed the idea of 'eco-auditing', the process whereby workers and employers monitor and report on workplace and production activities aimed at the targets laid down

And, when you have an educational system which puts a premium not on the educability of the child but on the price of its education, the challenge to the teacher is the financial cost of

Next week she could be feeding the goldfish in a pop star's penthouse flat Doreen is a professional 'homesitter' with a flexible approach to domesticity.

Darren Sherman, David Dowarris and Darren Fergus, all aged 13, call themselves junglists. They shop at Cecil Gee, Woodhouse and Harvey Nichols We wear straight-leg jeans, not the big, baggy, bleached ragga style,'

Despite the generally perceived nature of late-nighters en masse, Frith Street is probably one of the safest roads in the city

a Czech dissident yearns to be jailed again - for the quiet; Kapuscinski is driven similarly mad by media-crush. One reason he returns to Poland to write is that the phone connections are so bad.

The vendors are pinhookers, those bold speculators whose commodity is foals bought to re-sell as yearlings, foals bought to re-sell as yearlings,

Rag-meat (you had better brace yourself for this) is the stuff even maggots won't eat.

the invention of team syntegrity could be just the thing. 'Syntegrity is a powerful invention in the organisation of normative, directional and strategic planning and other creative decision processes,'

technological innovation has generated a comparable mass-production of new terms. Bryson is entranced and captivated by the way in which techno-craze after techno-craze has swept the country

professional understanders abound, especially in Western diplomatic services The theocrats of Tehran understand their 'understanders' and exploit them

At last, Marine girl and Marine boy in the buff] Camp and slightly kinky, these vids will do you like a kipper. but you kept us conquered with jokes and dancers, death and beauty, holographs, lasers, vids, with perfectly engineered and orchestrated suspense.

Twenty-seven police officers - all from one unit in central Hamburg were suspended The police union was furious, talking of 'blind actionism', and of innocent people being branded because of 'hearsay'

It is deeply marked by a vegetarian animal-liberationist form of Christianity first promulgated by the heretical Free Franciscan Church'

just as xenophobia in 'The Great Migration', the last essay, is fundamentally irrational, arational even, like a force of nature

Her particular brand of interplanetary craft would render the most cynical astrophobe starstruck

the final of International Young Driver of the Year (BBC 2) was mainly for automaniacs.

their curiosity was perhaps whetted by the prospect of discovering what kind of protective gear a skirt-wearing batsperson might use

An extension of the E-mail system, binary mail or 'binmail' means you can send data other than plain text.

What is new - and, for Unionists, shockingly new - is the beginning of what might be called the de- Britification of Northern Ireland as a problem and perhaps ultimately as a territory.

There is no straight answer here, and as this journey drags on forever and bus-lag sets in, a remark read earlier and puzzled over begins to make sense.

The bus-scape between Athens and London was a blur of cars and Tarmac and fields too close to the motorway

Women offended by BA's new advertising campaign for Club Europe - 'It's one giant leap for businessmankind' - are supposed, according to the press office, to take solace in the wordplay on 'mankind'

The book is good on software-driven Netiquette blunders - like accidentally cc-ing your entire company with a private E-mail note that explains, in detail, why your line manager is such an incompetent prat

Eastbourne Victoria's inner harbour remains a panoply of colourful imperial architecture, dominated by the provincial Parliament Buildings, the chateauesque Empress Hotel of 1908, and the Neoclassical Canadian Steamship Terminal

The mood is celebratory from start to finish. Each number is a singalong / cheeralong favourite, so the whole evening feels like an encore

Some weeks ago Sarah had turned up in the 'wrong' outfit: a suit. It was too smart, apparently. A bit city-businessy.

Mr Lester says the experience of pilot schemes during the past year suggest the new regime can realise its goal of improved enforcement (civil-ese for 'more motorists nabbed') and increased compliance

As a Christian gathering, it was a further victory for attacking happy clappiness and the Jesus-in-everything firm.

It feels more like a fanzine than the brainchild of a marketing department. It has a clubby-pubby all-lads-together hedonism and a healthy disrespect for pretension and all things

At the other extreme, fewer than 3 per cent of Italian couples cohabitate and less than 10 per cent of marriages in Spain and Italy end in divorce

The research assistant at Birmingham University came under suspicion following a tip-off from American computer-vice officers who had informed the British authorities of child pornography entering the US via the Internet

The best scenes are the confabs between Laughton and Peter Ustinov (conflabs?), mainly penned by Ustinov: 'You and I have a tendency towards corpulence,' confides Laughton. 'Corpulence makes a man reasonable pleasant

The competitor is responsible for the correctiveness of the score recorded at each hole.

For all her cosyism - 'That darn Hussein' - and her horrible, slobbery dog, Millie, she seems patently a gruesome faker

This constant denigration of science, this wilful crackpotry, this gormless search for gurus, in the context of all these deaths becomes much worse than aggravated eccentricity

Finally, Caroline Hull sidetracks us on to occult paths with a brief introduction to cutleromancy - divination from implements left in washing-up bowls.

Maryland opens first cyber-library: A US state is giving free access from home or work to the Internet.

The work's appeal is also the 'dancerliness' of its movement - rare in the recent climate of physical theatre.

another level of censorship being imposed on video, this time for generic horror fare already defanged, deballed and depleted by the existing legalisation

These loose kaftans and slacks and cleverly wrapped tunics were and are - much loved by the designocracy, particularly as they elegantly concealed incipient middle-age spread,

Danny was ordered to the bathroom to de-slug himself

Wayne is an intriguing character He wears a headscarf in a 'do-rag' style like Hilda Ogden. He is always using words like 'connotate' and 'appellation' and holding impromptu spelling bees.

The film has tremendous potential to cross over, but it was a film made by and for lesbians, and if that's where it stays, it's okay by me - and if it can use the sudden interest in dykedom, then that's fine by me too.

in all the acres of newsprint devoted to the 'discovery' of stylish dykery, there is something that has not been said: why is there no male equivalent? Why is there no such thing as faggot chic?

Trade unions call for workplace eco-audits

It is the public parading of private concerns that brings out the barmy, and The Hague was no different in kind from Rio eco-freakism and the forthcoming Cairo ding-dong about population.

Let's face it, sound eco-practice does not bode well for annual growth rates or supply-side economics.

To Clark's fellow zippies - Zen Inspired Pronoia Professionals - this is known as the Parallel University', the 'edu-tainment' sphere in which music and lecture run side by side in organic harmony.

In an instant she un-Englished him.

he has two personal computers (a laptop and a desktop machine), a CD-rom drive, a document scanner, and a 'floptical drive on evaluation

For other food shopping I like Sainsburys - I'm a food-aholic especially when it comes to crisps.

'The electricity industry is gender-divided'.

I think that people are more genderphobic than homophobic. They don't like it when people refuse to fit into a prescribed gender mould.

Misty through the smoke of thousands of wood fires this is a horrorscape, perhaps the nearest hell has got to Eart

It's a complex matter. One wag referred to it last week as the disinformation super hype-way'.

Anderson's writing is also marked by a vibrancy which has brought the critics out in hyperlatives.

Still in quaint marketing speak, Mr Cox seeks to incentivate' existing vegetarians to make at least one new convert each year

the Net provides a forum for every conceivable human proclivity. But anarchies are always guided by rules and Shea's 160-page book provides plenty of handy pointers which even the veteran internaut would do well to ponder

Maybe it's because he has plumbed the depths of dependency so thoroughly himself, and has only recently escaped the thrall of junkiedom, that he is so perceptive about the way creativity is mediated through addictive behaviour

Besides the virgins (rich individuals looking to make their first investments), latents (those who have not invested in the past three years and entrepreneurs (those who back many businesses both for fun and in preference to the stock market), there are 'wealth-maximising' angels (rich people who invest in several businesses for financial gain), and income-seeking' angels (less affluent people who invest to generate income or a job for themselves).

A company spokesman says: 'We don't want anything that's avant-garde in that location, because it would detract from the lettability of our scheme

Linguisticists have argued that human language has a 'deep structure' common to all, with a superstructure of syntactical variants in different cultures

There he is on the cover of Honey smirkingly receiving the ruby-red lipular attentions of some long-lashed model girl

Broadly, it recommends approval for research using foetal, cadaver and live-donor ovarian tissue but only approval for treatment when the informed consent of a live adult donor has been given

he took up the cause for instance, of the Archigram team, in London, whose marvellously creative ideas for new living-forms set off an important design movement based on expendable, changing, buildings with 'self-moving, plug-in' components

The ears wiggled, willing him on, the lips moved, but nothing came out: he is afflicted not just by lockjaw but lockbody - a crippling formality that finds spontaneity about as welcome as a sudden bowel movement.

Why do old people keep wanting to tell you their age? I call them old age mentioners.

The interesting thing about Ms Cooper's mercy-fax was not that she had the nerve to give it a go. No, the key was that she was trying to inject some Fantasy Justice into the British legal system.

mouse-milking' (the pursuit of a project requiring much time and money but yielding little profit

The symbol of the cross was partly obscured by a riotous collage of dudes with shades and shotguns, chests adorned with the heavy chain insignia that to the movie-literate spells drug dealer,

Japanese no-how: Japan's traditional drama is in crisis

This stage of black-suited non-men, with their little round heads and highlighted quiffs and

Forms of unbelief omitted include scepticism, rationalism, secularism, ethicism naturalism, nihilism and 'nothingarianism

he comes reeling back from gruelling sessions of psychic surgery, healing rocks, radical nutritionism and other New Age comforts

Yours obsidianly Kim I had used the word 'obsidian' to describe a certain toughness of character by which Kim had preserved his belief in Communism when practically everyone else had abandoned it)

Every part of the food heats up at the same rate, so ohmically sterilised food is not overcooked

The more successful they were, the more convinced by the Zeitgeist, the more completely they embraced the myth of their omni-competence.

Joanna Foster, chairwoman of the UK Council for the International Year of the Family, on Britain's opt-out of EU paternity-leave provisions

Lea Anderson introduced a head shot of a Japanese woman screaming, several Japanese men being expressionist in a dockyard, three pixillationist commercials for a New York hotel and herself as Joan of Arc.

a huge white maze for humanoid rats, or rattoid humans

priest and teacher Brendan Devlin urged people not to abandon what had made them, 'but to reunderstand it in such a way that it does not blot someone else out

but what makes this travelling festival different from the stale rocksploitation of the wannabe Woodstock festivals is the Electric Carnival.

Several of the visitors admit to a bit of 'scritching'. Crying, that is.

at least this was the prelude to more ambitious Romanian sortees

(he the hard- drinking student-phobic City fan, she the indomitable slapper)

Business is better all round and the seeds of superdom have been sown in several clubs.

There were fewer calls for a return to basics or to traditional teachering methods

Germany has been in the throes of a severe bout of techno-angst, worrying it is falling behind in the race for the innovations that will dominate the 21st century

A self-styled techno-geek, Dan O'Brien, tells the story of how he tried to win the love of Alison Bunney via computer and modem

The trials of techno-heritage

Almost overnight, Fraser Clark became the lord of the new technoshamanarchy

The closest teendom gets to being cool these days is in Wayne's World

Running simultaneously with the Atherton incident on our screens was the footage, or should it be teethage, of Johan Le Roux biting the ear of the All Blacks captain Sean Fitzpatrick

It's like a noisy encounter with Dickens's Mr Jingle, who communicated in similar telegramese ('Crown at Muggleton - met a party - flannel jackets - white trousers - anchovy sandwiches - devilled kidneys - splendid fellows - glorious

Many business wrongs are examples of what Dr Sternberg describes as 'teleopathy Telos' is the Greek word for end, or purpose.) Choosing the wrong end misunderstanding the end in question and pursuing the right end in the wrong way are all examples

She reverses all pronouns and interpretations, so that penis envy becomes womb envy and the invented term testyria replaces hysteria.

Step by step, the unthinkable has been massaged into thinkability,

In the case of Newbury, the town now suffers from the environmental nightmare of a 'thru-pass', taking a major European route straight through an old and much-loved market

The latest Raag collection includes tie-die silk scarves

toughism 2
TOUGHISM, it is pleasing to see, is fast becoming the political creed of the Nineties.

Nor is David a drag queen. 'This is more creative. I'm inventing a whole new being. If anything I'm a transbeastite.'

When we got to the crowns there was a moving walkway, so we couldn't stop and stare; we were being 'travellated' along and had no choice about pacing ourselves

Mr Winterflood is something of a trend-bucker. This is a man who wore brown shoes on his first day at work on the Stock Exchange

In fact he demonstrated their unfalsifiability, showing them unscientific and therefore useless for application to the real world.

By using popular acts such as Zimbabwean band The Bhundu Boys, the 'image problem' of bandstands' perceived unhipness was, by and large, overcome.

Maybe I am an unweddingy person, but I have never, in previous years, heard of anyone asking newly-engaged couples what the colour of their marquee will be.

Also, the data available to the prospective upgrader is often insufficient to warn of possible incompatibilities

Medway, 'try to convince one that Jesus Christ was some sort of a dishevelled Jewish social worker yobbo of the uppety persuasion with a poor O-level in woodwork

Families were departing for the suburbs to veg-out in front of the all-powerful box.

The campaign, backed by the Vegetarian Society and the Vegan Society, will include a six-month 'vegevangelical' roadshow to 50 towns and cities to promote The Realeat Encyclopaedia of Vegetarian Living,

If lesbians have until now avoided the limelight of media vogueishness, it is because male editors and journalists don't know what to make of them

A new voicemail service, Parrot, has been launched for students and those in shared accommodation to get messages from any telephone.

IN LABOUR heartlands and floating voterlands alike, Labour's grassroots are fed up.

So come on clubbers of the world, unite and take over. Boycott these shallow bastions of waifdom, and maybe promoters will learn that their customers deserve a little respect

Never has Mr and Miss Serious Rock Music Lover been more willing to listen to country, now ultra-positive that the genre isn't all squelchy Jim Reeves hummings, twanging yeehah cliches and weepalong female mewings.

This is all a very long way from the days when werewolfism was shown as an illness

Technical whizzbangery and promotions, however, do not sell products especially in a recession.

Nich olson gets an earful of wolf-lore from a quack, who tells him that the werewolf reflects the character of the man it inhabits.

the only female presence here will generally be manning (or womaning) the pumps

And they don't come more spectacular than this: the pop worlds of yesterday and yesterdecade conflated in Essex

but they are usually poor stars, often with limited job prospects after a younglifetime spent treading the greensward.

The subject of zippydom causes DiMartino to talk of 'synchronised miracles all architected by a higher intelligence'

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