Selected Neologisms: October-December 1994

in a consumerist world, heterosexual men had no future. So they were replaced by the metrosexual. Metrosexual man, the single young man with a high disposable income, living or working in the city. Metrosexual man is a commodity fetishist, a collector of fantasies about the male sold to him by advertising. Metrosexual man might prefer women, he might prefer men but nothing comes between him and his reflection.

Then his telefonino rang, or rather squeaked piercingly. It is almost impossible to get away from the wretched telefonino wherever you are in Italy. Of all the countries in Europe, only Britain has more mobile telephones

blacks have got magics and most white people don't believe it. I know it from my mother. It is called mafunfunyana.

Inside the world of the phreaker: Using a screen and a phone, they break into computer systems across the world. The phreaker is an anarchic brand of computer hacker. He is very good with computers, but principally obsessed with exploiting telephone networks The phreaker is a very sociable hacker, and spends a lot of time talking to other people through electronic messages

In addition, more competitors have entered the narrow market for monospace vehicles

his non-recoupable benefits were replaced by benefits recoupable because they were paid in consequence of the accident

Wildworld, holds toad-racing twice a day. There are even moves to give the sport a more formal footing.

Secretary of State for Social Security, said that the planned allowance should 'help the jobseeker and motivate the job-shy'

The promotion of metrosexuality was left to the men's style press, magazines such as The Face, GQ, Esquire, Arena and FHM,

And the national disease is no longer absenteeism but - to borrow, with regret, a recently coined phrase - 'presenteeism' they're suffering from presenteeism - people who remain after a redundancy, who an organisation feels should be really jo lly that they've retained their job, but who, first, are overworked, becausethere are fewer people, and second, are job-insecure.

In California, the Pacific Bell telephone company says it already has a million v-mail users;

It will mark the definitive break with the post- war notion of consociativismo, under which government and opposition often submerged their differences to serve the collective interests of the political class.

The culture-happy class buys the latest and smartest book, painting - or personality, for they are often patrons.

'Because of the fear-factor women just won't use them. their erstwhile supporters are no longer afraid of Labour. This fear-factor has played a significant part in keeping the Tories in power

Non-League groundhoppers are - by and large - as fine a group of men as ever consulted a railway timetable

The school's Richard D'Aveni coined the term 'hypercompetition', saying today's outrageous pace of change calls for upside-down business approaches Chivalry is dead,' he writes in Hypercompetition: Managing the Dynamics of Strategic Manoeuvring.

The scatter-gun approach of sending messages to large numbers of newsgroups is known as 'spamming', and is considered one of the most serious breaches of netiquette

The word 'lid' should be used only metaphorically in the new expression we are trying to popularise, 'best-by-end-see-lid When someone in the Government is approaching his sack-by date, we tend to say: 'He's getting a bit best-by-end-see-lid I see.

Clare Valley, pounds 5.75, a strapping Australian red whose delicious blackberryness melts in the mouth

Chipotle. Dried and smoked form of the Jalapeo. Smoky, nutty, most adaptable of all dried chillies

For the Christmas tree is but the most prominent aspect of our dendromania,

But, as the U-turn on Post Office privatisation showed, the do-littlers have won.

The 'edge-city' phenomenon, nurtured in the United States, has already reached Britain. Town centres merge into suburbs that merge into edge-city strips of shopping malls, business parks, retail warehouses and executive cul- de-sacs.

The Paisley expression for 'cool, good' is 'really gadgey'.

It looks as if Intel's position in the personal computer market is safe until the turn of the century, when 'gigachip' technologies reach the market.

That the loving father is one of the drag queens is rather adventurous, but the fact remains that homo-desire in this film is sublimated into outrageous frocks and an ache for acceptance by heterosexuals

The market's solvency is being undermined by the difficulty it is having persuading loss-hit names to cough up.

the penny dropped and I realised he really meant a maniser, as in the female version of a womaniser.

In the process, many more town pubs could be turned into restaurants or leisure centres, while their rural counterparts face the threat ofa new breed of mega-pub Solicitors acting for seven landlords objecting to a new Whitbread Beefeater mega-pub near Chipping Sodbury waved an article

ANYONE wanting to avoid getting trapped in a rape-conducive environment would do well to read Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf's Sex and Dating

The re-mythologisation of Christmas (a part of the wider process of re-mythologising Christianity itself) involves what one of its American proponents has described as a 'recalibration of perceptions'.

They were replacing them with barcodes from computers which had been already stolen. They were recloning them semi-contact 2 Kick-boxing is a semi-contact sport; points are scored for accuracy rather than damage inflicted.

Courtney Walsh led a substantially under-strength team - lacking Richie Richardson Desmond Haynes, Winston Benjamin and Curtly Ambrose - to a series-saving victory over India.

All it needs is for his shin-padded legs to be smeared liberally with Haagen-Dazs ice cream

He brought the show-boating side of Louis Armstrong to the music

What hero would brave the fire for a Brunnhilde in a skeleton-print body-stocking and a gym skirt? Not me.

Television networks in the feature local legends of the game, together with basketball street slang, trash talking being as much a prized among basketball 'skillz' as a good jump shot

Ingemar Stenmark might have been a better slalomer, but he did not have Girardelli's range

This is just part of the reason why it is tempting to call it the information super-hypeway Could we be on the super-hypeway to nowhere?: Will the information revolution really change our lives?

the World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF) are now attacking the roots of the problem, putting pressure on tiger-consuming countries to eliminate the trade within their borders.

I have yet to find a better area in London for the committed tyre-kicker

The last few months have shown not how ready the Italians are for a benevolent and videocratic dictatorship,

One of the more useful tricks of GIS is 'viewshed analysis', which is the precise measurement of the visibility of ancient monuments in the landscape

when you say thank you to an American waitperson, they say, 'You're welcome'.

There is close co-operation, too, in the area of 'waterspace management'

His 'whip-lust' was, it seems, reciprocated by his long-suffering wife.

the concept of 'xerocracy' - which means that anybody who can be bothered to pick a time and have the fliers Xeroxed is in charge. Xerocracy is a wonderful concept: political will reduced to whoever fancies doing the photocopying.

till, the bit in the ad where the guitars go ker-smash and the Puritan girl behind the tree stands a-goggle at the slow Excaliburisation of a male torso from silken water is a shining moment in the history of rock's interface with commerce .

Keep a city a-hipping and a-hopping all night long, and - goodness, says Nanny - everyone will be sozzled by morning.

see a-hipping

Bassey chassis sashayed along the lip of the stage, timpani sound-tracking her hip roll, the tassels on her dress a-rippling with suggestive tease.

Calendar girl Christy Turlington (images of whom are also available at Fashion Exposures missed the spring/summer 1995 fashion season in Milan, London, Paris and New York - setting tongues a-wagging.

Nicolas Bazire, head of Mr Balladur's office, described the reports as 'abracadabrant', literally 'abracadabra-ing'.

Looking for the word that means chopping one word in two and inserting another in the middle, as in abso-bloody-lutely, I had no joy with cut* AND word,

Manet's cropped and often almost accidental-seeming habits of composition

Rod Stewart is probably the dinosaur who profits most from acousticisation, while REM's 'Half a World Away' is replete with grace and emotion.

There is a similarity here to the hard adaptationist school in Darwinian theory, which recoils from the idea that sometimes things just happen,

Dennis Skinner, Labour MP for Bolsover, said there were 550 directorships consultancies and advisorships, mainly held by Tory MPs.

He buys some from corner shops on his patient round, others from countries he visits as an aero-medic to accompany home sick or injured British holidaymakers As

The affair was discussed at a committee meeting in Cardiff on Thursday, but when only three of 17 agendaed items had been completed in nearly seven hours members gave up

Nigerian tank deal raises questions on aid-for-trade

Tailor Made Travel also offers a seven-day air-cruise around Australia

'reserve beyond capacity', airline-speak for selling seats they do not have

RJ Pickles suggests a per capita charge on cubic metres of air consumption Tiny airometers could be inserted into the trachea soon after birth

Something that would save me from the hours of agonising aisle-browsing it now takes to buy a moisture cream,

she has no choice about whether she is personally challenged: 'I am, all the time, by having children who refuse to stop challenging; by relationships across colour; by the feeling of alien-ness

The new generation of aluminium-intensive vehicles recently announced by Alcan and Ford is an important breakthrough

For sheer political amazingness nothing beats what happened on 8 November

'Coyote Dance' and 'Akua Tuta' cleave more to the Gabriel / Lanois ambient-ethnic aesthetic

He sat down behind a desk, fiddling with a pencil, staring at the assembled audience of writers, photographers and his ampled-shouldered security entourage,

The point is that without order and stability, sustained development was not possible In anarcho-capitalist states, these conditions do not yet hold and are having to be created.

Likewise, anarcho-individualists and anarcho-capitalists are generally contemptuous of demonstrations and acts of public diso

Francois Hadji-Lazaro, the shaven-headed anarcho-traditionalist leader of the group Pigalle.

They see the logic in South Africa's argument, but worry about the impact on the animal-vote, back home, if they are seen to support it.

The blurb came accompanied by a picture of Lord Mackay of Clashfern, anoraking away at his lap-top accessing some of the information available to those prepared to part with 500 pounds for the disk

in the television series the rather anoraky League is merely a pretext for making a net-load of jokes about football

'Aromatology is what they are concerned about. It is a whole new branch of chemistry, a new science if you like. Essential oils have been shown to have a wide range of effects:

the Sunday Sport duly informed its art-hungry readers of four luscious lovelies who get their kit off.

white labels over arty black and white stills of red cabbage, coffee beans puddle pools, deserts, sea shells and other arty-glutton metaphors

the system is that owners can control who enters it. What happens out there has nothing to do with respectable, automobile-abiding citizens

But you can have one without the other and if, like me, you view your evenings more as avant-lit rather than apres-ski, there is a lot to be said for St Christoph.

trombone diva Annie Whitehead fronts up an avant-rub-a-dub session with her estimable trailmates

The boys who hand out the skis swear unimaginatively at each other and slowly strut about in their baggier-than-thou trousers.

This wide boy boasts that John and Yoko Lennon are about to arrive in a bag, this being the peak philosophical moment of baggism

Moreover, the banner-unfurlers are only one side of a pincer movement, the other being the people,

Richard Dawkins has written a hymn to the barely-plumbed wonders of DNA

Roy found time to talk to me about what he calls low battery-consciousness. 'People find it very diffficult to talk about batteries,' said Roy.

There's a still star-struck Bono for one, waxing beat-poetish over his brush with Frank Sinatra.

the Murphys Noel and Gerry, may not be bitter about the unspoken Welsh perception of their team's beatability but in any event, apart from Jenkins's 24 points and the Davies try, they did not see a great deal

Mr Ghazali was accused of planning to assassinate Mr Bush with a belt-bomb strapped to his waist

it must show two uncompromising fingers to the glib cynicism of post-Modernism, a bimboid handmaiden of sensational news coverage if ever there was one

I think I can't afford not to buy them. So I have binge-shopping sprees.

The Crazies is a fairly chilling 1973 bio-scare picture with a Pennsylvania town hit by a plague.

biorecords 2
His 'biorecords' related individual characters to their stratigraphic context showing how much critical information is lost when only species descriptions are employed

Blairites 5
He may need only a few Blairites: after all Mrs Thatcher got by with precious few Thatcherites.

Something for everyone then, unless you're a bleeding-eared Napalm Death fanatic with no friends

'I remember listening with him to a certain Northern balladeer warbling anthems of a quite ferocious blood-thirstiness.

The agent of his removal however, was not a blunderbuss-wielding relic of the Raj, but the television company

All have high cheekbones, bobby-blonde hair, teeth that betray years of adolescent misery,

a jolly woman in a nurse's outfit arrived with a frogman in body-condom sprouting alarming pipes and breathing apparatus

To sleep, perchance to be body-snatched

He concentrates on the extremes, the comtsotsis of the townships and the ragged boer-in-a-bakkie (truck) of the white right.

Fancy a boink?: Making the first move in person can be difficult, so people are turning to their computers.

Some show the full array of ludicrous bombas - crowns, windmills, globes, turrets, palms, even a jaunty snowman with his hands in his pockets.

Then he contacted his son, who, unbeknown to him, had become a born-against Christian.

We were all subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice, but it never occurred to me to be boss-conscious

The list of bouncer-related assaults on the night-club-going public has reached legendary proportions: everyone claims either to have been, or seen someone else roughed

Having experienced the bountificence of Czech hospitality (in various permutations of pork and carp), I felt duty-bound to oblige

You like the sound of boxercise - duffing up an electronic punchbag.

brain-gain 2
Within the last two years, this postgraduate medical school has attracted substantially more world-class scientists from as far afield as Australia and the United States than we have lost: brain-gain, rather than brain-drain

At this vulnerable time, babies need stimulation through contact, stroking, sound and breath-exchange - all of which helps them to keep themselves alive.

Also there's a feature on Berlin as the music capital of Europe: you know, Bowie, Cabaret Kurt Weill, Pink Floyd's bricktastic The Wall concert.

The biographer is a burglar rifling through drawers, driven by voyeurism and busybodyism, and seeking stolen goods.

As she has button-phobia, I am praying, as is her mum, that they burst forth like a self-inflatable pair of dinghies to avoid the 'button' stage

Those clean, well-lit, air-conditioned, classless temples to consumption those bypass-born, folksy-brick structures with hi-tech innards, those odourless grocers, except when the bakery wafts its programmed smells through them:

Lesley, 31, is a self-confessed 'candleholic' who regularly frequents church suppliers

Ms Spear, however, is unconvinced that candlemania is a Nineties phenomenon

Euston Road, London, is having an open day tomorrow, with simultaneous display, talks, and Christmas chesstivities

Here he shows the same ability to condense and cinematicise a complex narrative

we end up spending two hours in concentrated cinephiliac chat

The buzz word of the moment is clanning (try it on for size c-l-a-n-n-i-n-g). It means upscale urban types will be banding together in protected estates and being very New Agey while the proles on the other side of the high security gaze on enviously

It begins with his gritty documentation of clansmanship and tribal warfare among East End skinheads

(nothing would persuade me to take off my thigh-length jumper and reveal the cling-factor around belly and hips

the object of the exercise is to get clone-close to the author-approved performance

the walls of the London Underground with the message 'The Ultimate Gift of Christmas Peace', and it has spawned a clone-competitor from a rival record company with the same name and more or less the same cover design,

He was a Londoner, a Fulhamite in fact, who remembers spending 'a wonderfully free childhood', all coats-down in the local park and dreams of being Johnny Hayne

They go on to suggest, among other things, a Medusa wig for fancy dress parties, connected to a hose as a lawn-sprinkler, and the octopus-on-a-stick as a ceiling de- cobwebber cum chandelier bulb replacer

the brutal, codpieced Clockwork Orange-style gangs who strut their stuff in a gym that looks like a bleak concrete underpass

In this risk-averse, comfort-addicted age, when too many people's sole idea of fun is watching television, only alleviated by a little jogging, we need

Faust is certainly confrontational, and the antithesis of the comfort-zone approach

the monsters of sitcom have made a mockery of the nice guys of comfy-sofacom

All the same, it's hard to resist seeing in that image of a resurrected Aaron a complacency-jolting symbol of the fact that while evil may go into abeyance it can never be eradicated.

UN diplomats are scrawny fellows, scrawny in a paunchy fashion, also whey-faced no matter how darkly complected.

the sort of elementary factor that the Brookings comprehensivists consistently overlooked.

The Old Crown is a beautifully decorated old pub, handy for the British Museum and all the computery shops on the Tottenham Court Road

This defence of the indefensible indicates that tonight Neath will give as good as they get; hence the conflagrationary potential

They shout, gurgle and gobble in a largely consonantless-free stream of noisy and incomprehensible diphthongs,

Between the Lines from the classiest, sharpest, most convincing police drama ever produced in this country into a conspiracy-a-thon, a 10-week parade of silly, contorted plots

Beckett, first through the control-freakdom of his stage directions and now through the watchdogs of his estate, endeavoured to opt out of this process,

Etchers are convenienced by the fact that printing re-reverses the image

Cameos from Peter Fonda and Jack Eraserhead Nance, meanwhile, are just attempts to score highly on the cool-o-meter.

And don't forget the wit or the hooks. Copycats? No, copylions

the idea is that by the time technology has advanced enough to defrost the frozen body (or 'corpsicle' to borrow a term from the science-fiction writer Larry Niven),

Of that, pounds 1.6 bn came from counter-evasion and avoidance, and the rest from 'technical review work'.

Adam Faith doesn't try to turn the song into something that it's not, but still his country-flavoured version is a template of disaster Midnight Postcards

John Patrick, head of IBM's internet services, says the cyberbrothel is the latest in a rising tide of sex-related sites on the Net.

flying down a rope from the top of Blackpool Tower, wing- walking from London to Paris, paragliding under nine London bridges The daredevilishness he shared with John Noakes was combined with an all round talent in the old-fashioned showbiz disciplines

A government presided over by the owner of a huge business group, which is under legal investigation, wanted to incriminate the judges examining the group's affairs. It tried to de-legitimise them before they could conclude their investigations.

Hence Muslim women's motivation for wearing the hejab - to feel connected to their religious roots, to de-sex themselves in order to be taken seriously to avoid being molested - is being thwarted

The former Tottenham player is a defender-cum-midfielder.

According to Mr Jerome, dento-phobia is caused by the patient's dread of losing control in hostile surroundings.

When soul went priapic Sledge's career as a tearful balladeer detumesced

One practical step might be the resumption of shop deliveries, as in America, and provision of dial-a-bus systems for old age pensioners to cover visits to doctors, hospitals and the collection of prescriptions.

the game Moon's sympathy will be music to the ears of Kitch Christie, the Springbok coach, whose digruntlement at the turn of the post-match questions and answers was evident.

It is an effective disinhibitor made with a double shot of vodka, limes, sugar and honey.

Everywhere art is being made easy, too easy, easy-pleasy

The mode is autobiography cum novel cum courtroom drama cum ecogladiatorial contest cum catharsis.

Journalists, who are on the receiving end of a ton of econotosh a day, will be surprised to learn that 'there's still a dearth of really topflight professional economists in the City'.

The eroticisation of purity has always been part of the Western cultural tradition;

Dual-career family dads, according to the Loyola study, put in four per cent less 'face-time' per week, and are perceived as less dedicated to the job, suspected of divided loyalties feel-goodism 1 described Mutant Message Down Under as 'a book about spiritless, white middle-class mid-life-crisis feel-goodism. It belongs to a cynical tradition in Western publishing that profits from a readership that thirsts for books offering a balm to millennial fears'

I sound like some old Calvinist preacher, don't I?' Which is an improvement on sounding like Viz's Geordie fightoholic, Biffa Bacon.

The best, if you can get it, is filamented white paper (the sheeny, glossy kind).

a Chinese or Mongolian firepot where each ingredient is cooked in boiling broth in the centre of the table and is then dipped in a sauce just before eating

Nissan regards the 200 SX as more of a refined grand tourer than a hard-charging, firm-riding sports car.

What The Ruin of Kasch is really about is anyone's guess; it reflects an Italian taste for showy intellectual fizz-bang.

Those clean, well-lit, air-conditioned, classless temples to consumption those bypass-born, folksy-brick structures with hi-tech innards, those odourless grocers,

The fondant-pale layers of chiffon and tulle dazzled the eye,

Today, however, he is complaining of a food-over. 'It is like a hangover but worse.'

they offered us Derek Pringle sheep-shearing and acres of spectators' flesh both female (mainly undraped, thin and silent) and male (football-shirted, fat and chanting).

If you are not sure of the recipient's favourite whisky, a footful of miniatures can offer a style for every toe.

none but the freshest-minted coins would do

I make it up in big batches for my lunch during the week and to satisfy post-school fridge-cruising.

At the start McDermott's ganglingly impulsive, shock-haired Dougie, already dead and hazy about the circumstances of his demise like someone slowly coming round

I think it might have been even better with gay actors, but that's a very gayist point of view, isn't it

The Oxford University Press's new 'gender-inclusive' Bible, designed to be inoffensive enough to appeal even to the Americans - that most shy and sensitive of nations - has managed to offend everyone else. The sticking point has been its references to 'Father-Mother' God,

Giant Steps, full of homespun stoicism, dollops of New Ageism, and lashings of good old-fashioned get-up-and-goery

Spurs had gone ahead through Teddy Sheringham, who provided some relief for Ardiles by overcoming his goal-shyness.

Books can get a bit serious so throw in 'Griff' and his convivial goonery to jolly it up.

This book conforms to all my guidelines: it purports to celebrate 'guyhood with chapters entitled 'Women Are People, Too' and 'Men's Zones', and is packed with observations about sex, tools, wives, and - his favourite theme the male organ,

White devoted to honing his skills as a wonderful raconteur and gustateur.

this is a biopic (verging on hagiopic) of the rodeo star Lane Frost

Apparently, next Saturday night the National Federation of Spiritual Healers is doing a 'healathon Anybody, anywhere, who wishes to benefit from this can do so by relaxing quietly for five minutes . . .

Even a world divided into theoretically homogeneous ethnic territories by genocide, mass expulsion and 'ethnic cleansing' was inevitably heterogenised again by mass movements of people and styles and by the tentacles of the global economy

Perhaps it's hindsight, or hindhearing, but the tune sounds as if it were dictated by the words in more than the literal sense.

Impossible to omit would be a death, hintedly from Aids that makes Ali McGraw's genteel passing in Love Story seem like a video nasty

New Historicism - a movement that radically historicises literature, placing it within a political, social and economic context

FFM points out that Fulci's Don't Look Now homage-cum-rip-off, The Psychic brought him to a wide audience

Britain's future lies in the centre of Europe have to argue our case now. The inevitabilist case for European integration is in tatters

Dr Leary - who has now embraced the Internet global computer network as a platform for his views - said: 'I have waited all my life for this moment. This is not just an invasion it's an inter-vasion I dedicate this event to Marshall McLuhan (the Sixties media guru) - the world is now truly a global village,' he said.

Or is it simply that after living for a dozen years with a government that invites scorn by the juggernautful, and seems totally unaffected by it, we no longer believe in the efficacy of scorn

But having electrified the laptop-battering classes, and perhaps the nation too, Tony Blair has to expand and nourish this optimism in the years before the election comes.

takes us on a guided tour of his mind in a series of lecturettes and info-packs, lamenting the crassness of modern times.

In 40 years of autumnal viewing, I can recall no single newsreader, current affairs presenter, weather-forecaster or linkperson who did not, right on cue, don a poppy.

'For lipoplasty, known also as body-contouring, dial 423' said a genteel voice from the clinic's answering machine,

People who are otherwise law-abiding educated and paid-up members of society will be quite prepared to ignore the democratic process, to defy the representatives of law and order, in order to save some blighted specimen from being lumberjacked.

Ralph Lauren's magazine-in-utero remains 'in development'

his poetry reveals a range of learning that takes in classical scholarship and insights magpied on his walking tours

she's as much of a Bill-and-Ted-head as any American mall-rat. Apparently she hates Santa Claus, but loves Father Christmas.

the Tory conference suddenly revealed two new suits for John Major, quite opposed to his past reputation for mid-grey-nothing-in-particularness.

midibus 2
Services have been revised through a series of area planning reviews (on a far more systematic basis than the trial-and-error method found elsewhere) extensive market research, and higherfrequency midibus services

He could learn lines overnight; even when he forgot them, he spoke naturally in movie-ese.

Here you have Rolls-Royces dropping off multi-squillionaires at the Waldorf, across the road from people in cardboard boxes

It was the culmination of 12 months of commercialisation and quangoisation.

JOHN MAJOR faced further embarrassment over his promised onslaught on sleaze yesterday as Labour MPs staged a walk-out from the 'questions-for-cash inquiry

I arrived in Boston on a Sunday night at a hotel in a part of town not much restauranted.

We shouldn't have had the lottery because it is one more step in the trashification of Britain

But as two-tierism - with its contracts that resulted in doctors treating less urgent cases ahead of more urgent ones,

She was accompanied by a friend who also liked winterscape woollies

The puzzle is why large differences in actual hours worked have failed to quell American workaholicism and a German love of leisure

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