Selected 2003 Neologisms

- heirhead
The Simple Life, in which the pampered Paris Hilton and best friend and fellow 'heirhead' Nicole Richie, daughter of pop star Lionel Richie, swap the Beverly Hills and New York party circuits for 30 days working on an Arkansas farm, was panned by critics yet still attracted 13 million viewers.

- ITunes
ITunes, which is currently only available in the US, has had over 4 million paying customers in its first six weeks of operation and sparked hopes among record companies and web distributors that users can be tempted away from illegal download sites such as Kazaa and WinMX.

- Svengali-Goran
Arsene Wenger is Gary Numan. Gerard Houlier is Dido. Gazza is Elvis. Graham Taylor is Slaughter & The Dogs. Tord Grip and Svengali-Goran Eriksson (see what I did there?) are Bjorn and Benny from Abba.

- emo-rock
As with 2001's Love Is Here, their brand of emo-rock makes much of the lavish arrangement (Spectorean strings and bells are just the start) and the pregnant pause, all weighted for maximum tremulousness.

- psuedo-presidentialism
Blair was tempted into psuedo-presidentialism by the apparent personal power of the American presidency and by Thatcher's tabloid ambition to put the ' great ' back into Great Britain.

- frumpsville
The Guardian, however, counselled against going too retro. You do need to inject a little modern attitude or you 're on a one-way ticket to frumpsville.

- gourmandoisie
Snaring a table at El Bulli is an extreme sport of the international gourmandoisie.

- India-stan
The BJP rejected the idea that India should be secular; its more extreme supporters wanted to turn the country into a Hindu state, a sort of Indian version of Pakistan, an India-stan.

- Islingtonistas
True Islingtonistas will be aghast at the inaccurate addition of tablecloths to the wooden minimalism of Granita. I nearly choked on my polenta.

- Cowell-esque
The real problem, though, lies with Lord Hutton, who is simply too polite. The occasional intervention on some footling point just doesn't work. The public expects Cowell-esque humiliation.

- Sexaholism
Sexaholism, says Brown, follows similar patterns to other addictions such as alcoholism or gambling.

- semi-mulleted
But the semi-mulleted winger takes full advantage and shows some pace (a rarity in the Scottish back division) to speed through and score in the left-hand corner.

- metronomics
Wilkinson's customary metronomics with the boot served to highlight the shocking performance of his opposite number Louis Koen.

- whitetile
A lecturer in Beatles studies, from, I suppose, one of the new whitetile universities claimed that The Beatles introduced the new role of entertainer as intellectual.

- cod-romance
Having launched and lost Charles Chaplin in 1914, Mack's greatest grossing star was now cross-eyed Ben Turpin soon to excel in his series of cod-romance satires, such as his pastiche of Rudolph Valentino in The Shriek of Araby.

- Shakespearised
It was apparently first used in 1836 by the American transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson, who complained that the English dramatic poets have Shakespearised now for two hundred years.

- underrealised
John Comiskey and Alan Farquharson designed and lit the gorgeously monumental artist's workshop set, on which I wish I had watched the final, missing act of this ambitious, underrealised play.

- screech-fuhrer
This is the brainchild of screech-fuhrer Perry Farrell, who's been much taken with the recent flashmob fad, in which upwards of 200 people gather at an appointed place to execute some pointless task.

- Mmmbearable
Most simply vanish from public view remembered only by a handful of die-hard fans, which appeared to be the fate of Hanson, three prepubescent, devout Christian brothers from Tulsa, Oklahoma, who sold 8m albums in 1997 on the back of Mmmbop, an irrepressibly perky song that quickly became Mmmbearable.

- politisoap
A variety of readers have been in touch about minor inaccuracies in The Deal, the politisoap shown on Channel 4 on Sunday night.

- non-manic
This is your first signal to pause for non-manic reflection.

- presentish
Saddam presented a clearish and presentish danger.

- wife-porn
I have nothing against couples making films together, if that's what rings their bell. I just think they need to accept that it's only a celebrity sprinkle on suburban wife-porn, and market the product accordingly. Ben and J-Lo could have kept costs down by getting it on in a car park near Wimbledon Common - and every person who paid to see Gigli could probably have fitted around the car.

- singalongalikes
With Ewan McGregor and Rene Zellweger as Rock'n'Doris singalongalikes, it unfolds largely in note-perfect in-studio recreations of the kinds of pink boudoirs, green-and-brown bachelor apartments and retro-futuristic office spaces wherein the original sex warriors hatched their wily schemes of seduction.

- de-Arabising
For the first time, we have an American administration that talks of de-Arabising the Middle East - the ultimate Perleian dream of Arab nations governed by clones of Ahmed Chalabi, their bazaars buried under shopping malls and Arab hospitality.

- squint-inducing
From the shady to the grainy : the News of the World on Sunday splashed with squint-inducing pictures of Beckham and the brunette. It's 2.30 am and lonely England ace cosies up with girl in Madrid club.

- spindocracy
Not quite fact, not quite fiction, and not at all entertaining it sneered, describing K Street as a pointlessly rambling inside look at Washington's spindocracy - a self-contained self-satisfied group of political hangers-on who are fascinating to each other and of no interest to anyone else.

- Ginolan
Though Rooney isn't graced with Ginolan good looks, there is always a risk that wannabe footballers' wives or naughty ladies planted by tabloids will move in on him, especially once, two weeks hence, he's legally entitled to consume alcohol.

- meedja-type
A nasty meedja-type person has allegedly sneered that Come Dancing's revival smacks of BBC executives having just sat in the pub and reminisced about the programmes they used to watch as kids.

- bunchy-outy
There's about three times as much material in a pleated curtain,' says Sally Hudson, curtain buyer at John Lewis, which gives you a fuller bunchy-outy effect.

- web-emy
For the first time, Google was starting to look like public web-emy number one - and it did not handle it well at all.

- goaldiggers
They spoke of football groupies, or 'goaldiggers', as they called them, who would offer themselves to players.

- wanksta
And another claim to fame : you introduced the word 'wanksta' into the language with your track ' Wanksta '.

- googlewhack
Take two obscure and unrelated words, type them into the google search bar and if the result is a solitary web page you have found a googlewhack.

- GBH-ing
A new discipline from south London that grew out of BMX-ing, GBH-ing is a thrilling combination of bike-born acrobatics and extreme fighting.

- phished
Sarah Left explains how not to be 'phished in' by the latest email scam to hit your inbox.

- ebloody
If ebooks have ejackets then I can perhaps add an ewarning about ebloody estrong elanguage.

- Jill-of-all-trades
Brotherton, 41, has worked for Luton for almost 10 years as what she calls a Jill-of-all-trades serving lunches and drinks to directors, players and guests.

- anti-tainment
Relegated to the farthest-flung corners of the satellite schedules and forced to forage for survival in the damp gaps that lurk between forgotten Nancy Lam vehicles and repeats of Badger, the fishing show traditionally languishes in sniggering, anti-tainment hell.

- al-Qaida-spawned
Although al-Qaida-spawned Islamic fundamentalist terrorism is aimed primarily at the west - meaning the US, close allies of the US such as Israel and Britain, and pro-western Arab governments - it is Muslims and non-westerners who frequently get hurt.

- G.W.B.
There was a dispiriting contrast between G.W.B. shutting out the world and avoiding the British public, and the black-and-white clips this week of J.F.K. reaching out to the world and being adored by Berliners.

- hizzo
The worlds of word games and pop stars are not so far removed as you might think: USA Today also remarked on the rapper Ludacris who says one of his favourite tour bus activities is 'hip-hop Scrabble', where only words such as 'bling' and 'hizzo' are allowed on the board.

- Shroomshop
Amolon, a Birmingham-based operation, has a burgeoning delivery and mail-order business that supplies customers across the country, while the Shroomshop, a collective of 20 UK growers, sends mushrooms direct to head-shops in the Midlands.

- youther
This cultural blurring is reflected in a new lexicon of marketing spiel, spotlighting such emergent consumer groups as the kidult or adultescent (whose age ranges from 25-35), the middle youther (35-45) and the silver surfer internet users in their dotage.

- nerd-fest
Next week sees the release of the final instalment in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy, awash with elves and hobbits and surely the most monumental nerd-fest of the lot.

- accentism
There are quite a few linguists who favour legislation along the lines of banning discrimination against what they call accentism.

- clusterfuck
The four train crashes that Hare's documentary stages and examines are examples of what the US military calls a clusterfuck.

- FAXSPARTZWARHLDAH
Then, equilibrium restored, I switch over to Fox Sports World (FAXSPARTZWARHLDAH!).

- re-re-re-re-resurrect
And Chris Turner has offered Paul Gascoigne the chance to re-re-re-re-resurrect his career at Sheffield Wednesday.

- multi-facelifted
Starting with the bleached face, collapsing jowls and terrified eyes from Jackson's police mugshot, you might think you were looking at a multi-facelifted old woman with a thyroid problem.

- skinnified
Alison Moyet, a big woman in every sense, was famed in the 80s for refusing to shrink to eight stone, but by her 2001 comeback she had skinnified considerably.

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